


I won’t let you choke on the noose around your neck

by starsngalaxys



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Badly, But His Brother Instincts Take Over, Conspiracy Theories, Fox Thought The Gun Was On Stun, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Or Is It?, Paranoia, Possible Underlying Mental Health Issues, Post-Episode: s06e04 Orders, Reconciliation, Rex is Still Mad, Rex is a good bro, Self-Destruction, Seriously He Sucks, Tea Doesn’t Fix Everything, That Feels Blasphemous to Write, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, fox needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23783902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsngalaxys/pseuds/starsngalaxys
Summary: He had been working on autopilot. His brain turned off and he just went through the motions. Sign the Chancellor’s name, send the paperwork off, patrol the streets, make sure to check on your men after lights out, drink your caf. Work. Keep working, don’t stop. Follow orders, it’s what you were made for.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox & CT-7567 | Rex
Comments: 21
Kudos: 280
Collections: Commander Fox





	I won’t let you choke on the noose around your neck

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from The Cave by Mumford & Sons
> 
> I’ve wanted to write this for awhile now. It was rough, but I’m happy with the result.

Fox wasn’t sure what he should be feeling. His chest had maintained a steady ache for the last month.  _ Guilt and pain and horror and hatred.  _ The ache never eased, never let him rest. He hated taking his bucket off these days as well. The face that was usually  _ so similar to his brother’s,  _ was sallow and the golden eyes that were usually sharp and attentive were lightless and sunken. 

Rex has yelled. He had yelled and screamed at him for what felt like hours. He was completely in the right of course, even though  _ I thought it was on stun, I swear-  _ but his explanations fell on deaf ears. 

Forgiveness was never an option. 

Ever since then he had been working on autopilot. His brain turned off and he just went through the motions.  _ Sign the Chancellor’s name, send the paperwork off, patrol the streets, make sure to check on your men after lights out, drink your caf. Work. Keep working, don’t stop. Follow orders, it’s what you were made for. _

The mandatory health checks were nuisances. They said he was exhibiting signs of burnout, that he needed rest. He couldn’t rest, he was the Commander of the Coruscant Guard! They needed him. The exasperated sighs of the medics were growing tiring. 

He remembered what their  _ Buir  _ had done when Fox got like this.  _ “You get in your own head, ad'ika.”  _ Jango always said. He dragged him out of the training room and forced him to do something else, something that wasn’t in his brain’s schedule. He had never gotten as bad as he was right now. And Jango was dead. 

Tonight, he found himself going through the motions once again.  _ Read the paperwork, forge the signature, repeat. Read the paperwork, forge the signature, repeat.  _

A loud, repeating thump on the door drew him out of his system. He was frozen, trying to process.  _ Thumping. Where was the thumping coming from? Who was making it? Why here?  _

The thumping sounded again.  _ Wait not thumping, knocking! Who’s knocking? Should I check? I’ll check.  _ He stood on shaky legs and made his way to the door. He felt breathless and his aching chest heaved. The door slid open and he frowned when he saw who was there. 

“Rex? What are you-“

“Step aside,” Rex said, but he didn’t wait for him to oblige. He simply pushed passed him and started rummaging through the papers on his desk. Fox wanted to tell him to stop, to leave, but his voice got caught in his throat. 

“Why the Kriff are you forging the Chancellor’s signature?”

Work. He can talk about work. “He asks me to.” He stated, sounding very matter of fact. 

“That’s… very illegal.” 

“Yes. But I do what I’m told.”

This was strange. Small talk with Rex was strange. 

Rex nodded. “I guess you’re wondering why I’m here.”

Fox’s throat closed up again. It might have to do with their jobs, nothing to worry about. But the look on Rex’s face told him otherwise. 

“We have to talk about  **it** . I don’t want to, but Cody threatened to recommend me for leave, so here I am.” 

“I-“ he gave up on trying to say anything.

“Kriff, I’m just gonna ask. Why did you do it?”

“He was a threat. He drew a weapon.” 

“That doesn’t mean you shoot to kill!”

“I WASN’T! I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to-“

“THEN WHAT DID YOU MEAN TO DO?” Rex slammed his hands on the desktop. 

“I THOUGHT IT WAS ON STUN, I TOLD MY MEN TO HAVE THEIR GUNS ON STUN! I-“ Fox choked on his words and pulled his helmet off, hoping to breathe easier. The ache in his chest made him feel physically ill. “I told the Chancellor that I had it set to stun, I know I switched it, I checked. You have to believe me, Rex.” 

He looked up at the man who by all accounts was his younger brother. Rex drew back at the sight of his face, and the stoniness that was previously there was gone. 

“What the Kriff have you done to yourself brother?” 

Fox shook his head vehemently. “You have to believe me, please! I would never hurt a brother on purpose, I was following orders!” His chest was heaving and he felt himself fall to his knees. A sharp ring rang throughout his ears. 

Hands grabbed his face and he  _ wanted to pull away, he did!  _ But he found himself leaning into the shoulder he was moved to. 

“I do believe you. I do.” Rex said. Fox could feel the rumble of his chest as he spoke. ”I need to tell you something, but not now. Not while you're like this. Can you tell me what's going on with you, or should I just check your medical reports?” 

”Haven't been sleeping properly. Can't. Skipping meals… feel sick all the time…”

”And you've been working through it all?”

Fox nodded. ”Medics say burnout.”

”Makes sense.”

Rex moved and Fox found himself chasing the missing contact. His brother pulled him towards his bed, which had stood untouched for the last month. Why sleep in a bed when there's a perfectly good desk to pass out on? 

Rex pushed him onto the bed and started coughing, most likely due to the cloud of dust that puffed up.

”Geez, when was the last time you touched this thing?”

Fox tried to shrug, but his body was refusing to work with him. He laid back, welcoming the relaxation the mattress brought to his muscles. Rex stood and tried to move away. Fox grabbed his wrist.

“I’ll be back, I’m just getting something,” Rex said.

He pried the fingers off of his wrist and left Fox alone in the room. His fingers itched to grab a datapad,  _ get back to work, distract yourself. Give them one less reason to decommission you.  _

But instead, he pulled off the white and red plastoid that constricted his body. The clatter it made when it hit the ground jostled his mind. He lay, frozen until Rex came back into the room. 

He was holding a small cup containing a steaming liquid and a ration bar. He held them out to him. 

“It’s tea. General Skywalker taught me to make it, and General Kenobi taught him. He says it’s good for calming down after a battle, but I'm pretty sure it’ll have the same affect.” 

Fox stared at the cup for a moment. His own brother wouldn’t poison it, surely. He wouldn’t stoop down to his level. He snatched it out of his hand and sipped it carefully. 

“What, it’s not like I poisoned it.” Rex joked. The smile faded quickly. “You don’t actually think I did, do you?”

Fox just stared at the cup with the same scrutiny he had been using on everything lately. 

“You actually do, Kriff. What is wrong with you  _ vod’e?”  _ Rex asked as another attempt at a joke. 

But that question just seemed to aggravate Fox. 

”Nothing. Nothing is wrong, don't send me back to Kamino, I'll be better-”

”Hey? Where’d you get the idea that I’d get you sent back? I'd never, you know I’d never get you, or any brother sent back unless I was sure I had to. And this?” he gestured at him, ”isn't probable cause.”

Fox focused back on the tea, not gracing Rex with a response. Rex sighed. 

”Kriff, what are we gonna do with you?”

Those words hung in the air for a while. 

“You believe me, don’t you?” Fox asked quietly, yet imploringly.

Rex nodded. He did. 

“And you know that I’m sorry?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever forgive me though.” 

“Actually,” Rex laid a hand on his arm. “I’m getting there.”


End file.
